


Date Ruined

by Heliosthetroll



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AI Hal, Angst, Anniversary, Burns, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, F/M, Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, firework related injury, robo-body Hal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 19:57:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15080588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliosthetroll/pseuds/Heliosthetroll
Summary: Hal makes some miscalculations when planning his big date for his and Roxy's one year of dating anniversary and things go south fast.





	Date Ruined

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my boyfriend who doesn't own an archive account but yeah](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+boyfriend+who+doesn%27t+own+an+archive+account+but+yeah).



You, that being Hal Strider, and Roxy Lalonde were dating.

You had been for a while.

Almost a year to be exact, sometimes that fact still surprised you, and you had been planning something big for your anniversary for a long time. Everything was almost set up. Rose was on board for helping keep Roxy in the dark until the time arrived as long as you kept your promise to help her with her research into dark magic later and Dirk as well as Dave and a few others had helped you set the rest up so the two of you could have a great night.

You had scored the both of you a private visit to a nearby animal shelter Nepeta worked at so Roxy could hang out with a pet all the cats thereby promising to help her with her shipping charts using your logical mind to help add reason to her ships rather than it being shipping purely on emotions though she found that well and good as well. You had also planned for a dinner date at the bakery Jane owned so Roxy could eat the Crocker’s cupcakes since she always said the Crocker-Egberts made the best-baked goods. You had even managed to convince Jane to make a custom cupcake recipe for the occasion by cashing in a favor she owed you from when you helped her more efficiently bake a high number of cakes at a time when she underestimated how many orders she would get around Valentine’s day. From their you had worked out with Dirk how to get your hands on some firework ingredients and with some added help from Dave with the actual process of it the three of you had made some custom fireworks for a show after dinner even if you had been forced to watch the My Little Pony movie with Dirk without complaint afterward and had been forced by Dave to pose for ‘ironic family photos’ for his photo wall. You knew he stashed a few away for the scrapbook he thought, incorrectly but still, the rest of you didn’t know existed. 

Everything was in perfect order. You had even gotten outfits for you and Roxy last minute designed and created by Kanaya by saying you would allow her to use you as a model at a later date. 

This was going to go smoothly and Roxy would be so happy. This was going to be the best day of her life to date. You would make sure of it.

Or at least that’s how it started.

Everything was going smoothly so far, the outfits from Kanaya had looked amazing and Roxy had loved them both. You had a simple traditional looking black tuxedo that was specially fit to your robot body using the precise measurements Dirk had made when making you with a red undershirt with silver buttons on the tux and simple black pants and shoes. It matched the look of your robotic metal body very well. Roxy looked downright gorgeous in the outfit she came out to meet you in the living room the two of you shared wearing. It was a long skin tight pink sparkling dress that just barely had a bit of fabric brushing across the floor, the bottom of it flaring out from her body a bit instead of hugging her skin like the rest did. The entire thing looked like it was made of silk from what you could tell with sequins all over it both on the top and more sparingly as it progressed downward until it reached the bottom where there were just a few. The fabric itself was in the hot pink Roxy enjoyed the most but the sequins were a paler pink and it looked wonderful. Her shoes were simple hot pink high heels that were about three inches tall by your estimation. Along with what Kanaya had made Roxy had chosen to wear bright pink lipstick and eyeshadow as well as fancy jeweled hanging earrings in the same pale pink as the sequins.

She looked absolutely fabulous

You were speechless as she walked down the steps and over to you and you could feel your face heat up as she smiled at you and giggled. “There goes Kanaya being good with the fashion again!” She says cheerfully. “Hmm, maybe but it certainly does help that she has the perfect model to wear the outfit.” You comment back and it’s Roxy’s turn to blush this time. “Oh shush you. You said you had plans for tonight?” “Yeah. I have a lot of plans actually.” “Ooo what’s first on your list mister fancy pants?” “Cats.” You say simply but that’s all it takes for Roxy to light up and take your hand to practically drag you towards the door. How she walks so easily in heels you will never know. 

“Well, why didn’t you say so, Hally! Let’s get going!” You chuckle. “Well slow down now Rox you don’t even know where we’re going or how we’re getting there.” She giggles again. “Well then get that butt in gear already and show me! I want to get to the cats!” You chuckle at her again and roll your red dot eyes at her but that only earns yet another giggle from her as you keep your hands locked together and you lead her to the car.

You open the passenger side door for her and gesture her in where she giggles. “Such a gentleman you are Hally!” You smirk. “Only the best for my queen.” She blushes and your smirk increases as she climbs in and you close the door again before going over to the driver’s side and climbing in yourself.

You drive for a while until you reach the animal shelter and the two of you enter. 

That’s when things begin to go wrong.

You see since you ordered the outfits last minute you failed to tell Kanaya exactly what your plans were for the night and due to that error you failed to calculate that the cats would love the sequins on Roxy’s dress. Love them so much they would pull them off so they could play with and eat them. Along with that you also failed to calculate that the place would be dirty. Very dirty. You aren’t a clean freak by any measure and the mess itself wasn’t really what bothered you but what did is what it did to the outfits you and Roxy wore. She became covered in cat fur of all different colors with claw holes here and there along with the few occasional rips and there were things sticking to her clothing from the floor that you didn’t even know what was when she stood up again, finally satisfied with the love from the cats. You frowned but didn’t say a thing as she was still smiling and you wanted to keep it that way if you could help it. Besides, those were just minor miscalculations. The rest of this would still go perfectly.

Right?

Wrong.

So very wrong.

You arrived next at Jane’s bakery and Roxy was, of course, excited to eat whatever she had made for the two of you. First, you both ate actual food for dinner but then it was time for dessert. Jane brought out one of the biggest cupcakes you had ever seen before, it almost qualified as a cake really, for the both of you to share and on it was a little cat face made out of black frosting. It looked just like Roxy’s favorite cat, though she would always tell you not to say that in case the other cats got jealous, Mutini. Under the cat was the words, ‘Love mew!’. Roxy giggled and insisted you take a picture using the camera in your eyes as if you hadn’t been taking pictures and videos to remember this date by the entire time and then said you both should hold it together and eat it doggy spaghetti style. You knew she meant the way that one Disney movie had made the dogs eat the spaghetti so they ended up eating the same noodle and kissing and you rolled your eyes at her but smiled and agreed anyway. The only problem was as soon as the two of you took a bite you found Jane had made it vodka flavored. Or at least tried to. It tasted terrible and brought up bad memories for the both of you so you both stopped eating and the mood was killed pretty badly. Jane tried to apologize when she came back out from the kitchen to see you both sitting in silence rather than eating but Roxy had instantly forced herself to smile wider and brushed off the apology and thanked Jane for trying anyway.

You swear she was too easy on that girl sometimes.

You allowed this however and before long the both of you left to head off to the final activity for the night. Things could still be redeemed yet. This just had to go exactly to plan.

You shouldn’t have jinxed it.

You both arrive at the little hill where you had everything set up for the two of you to sit back and enjoy the show without issue and Roxy seems curious about and excited for whatever you brought her here for. You send the message to Dave and Dirk to start things off only to hear a fizzle and then nothing. The suddenly a huge explosion comes from the bottom of the hill where they’re hiding and setting off the fireworks leading to both you and Roxy leaping into action to go get your brothers, both of you hoping and praying they are alright even if you are the only one who knows their identities until you both get down there. 

Luckily you find that Dave had been pushed out of range by Dirk last second and that Dirk only received minor burns which Dave was doing what he could to take care of. Even so, it was a disaster as Roxy ran up to them both, further dirtying her outfit, and pulled Dirk into her arms as you called into a hospital to let them know you were coming. You and Dave lifted Dirk onto his feet even as he protested that he was fine and could walk on his own. His legs were burned though so none of you were taking chances with him. You took him to the hospital and you and Roxy stayed for a while, well past midnight at least, before leaving Dave there to finish things up with the doctors as you went to take Roxy home.

She fell asleep on the car ride and for once you were happy she wasn’t awake. You knew that if she was she’d be smiling, trying to brave through it for you despite how terrible all of this had gone and you weren’t sure you could take that kind of love and optimism right now. Everything had gone to shit. Blown up in your face even more than those fireworks had blown up on Dirk. While he would be ok you weren’t sure about your self-esteem. You had ruined the date and it hadn’t even been just any other date. That would’ve been better, ok even if it had been. But no. It had been your one-year anniversary date and you’d ruined it all. And to top it all off you had even hurt your brother, your creator really, Dirk and had almost hurt the only thing that mattered to you even nearly as much as Roxy did, Dave. What kind of person were you? Did you even deserve to be called a person after that? Were you just a useless AI robot who malfunctioned so bad it believed itself to be sentient and have emotions like love and happiness?

Your mind whirled through thought after thought faster than a human’s could which for once was not something you could use to your advantage. Right now it was your biggest weakness, making you feel terrible ten billion times faster than a human would. By the time you returned home you were surprised you weren’t suicidal with how many hateful thoughts had come and gone, most of them thoughts humans couldn’t even have as they made no sense to a non-robot.

It drove you crazy sometimes. 

The fact that you weren’t human.

Sure most of the time you would brag about how being an AI made you superior to humans in every way possible but mostly that was to cover up and hide just how inferior you really felt when compared to them and how jealous you were of them and how much you yearned to be human. Having a physical body now certainly helped as had the realization that if you felt jealous than you must be sentient and have other emotions too but still. They were human and you…

You were not.

And you never would be.

Roxy snaps you out of your zoned out state as she wakes up to find you parked in your home driveway but not moving and simply staring ahead at the window. She places a hand on your arm and quietly asks, “Hally? Are you alright?” You shake your head and turn to her, attempting to smile as genuinely as you can. “Yeah, sorry Rox. Just... Calculating how to make that go better next time and looking at the variables that I overlooked.” She looks a bit sadder at your words. “Hally… You don’t have to lie to me. I wanna help you, Hally.” You can’t help but deflate knowing that you’ve disappointed her and saddened her with your lie. “I just… It’s the usual stuff nothing new. Probably brought on by this terrible date I fucked up so terribly. Nothing you need to worry about Rox.” She shakes her head at you. “First off Hally I don’t care if you don’t want to worry me with this you need to tell me when you feel this way so I can help you.” You will forever be amazed at how she reads through your bullshit to see how you truly feel about things underneath. “Secondly Hally I don’t care if the date didn’t go as you planned. I had fun.”

That catches you off guard. She had fun? On that wreck of a date? How? 

“I- but- how?” She giggles and smiles softly at your confused sputtering. “Because I was with you silly.” She bops your metal nose with a finger and giggles again as you blush a bit, allowing the lights in your cheeks to turn them a faint pink. “But everything went terribly. Your outfit is ruined by the cats and the shelter and the ash and grass, the cupcake Jane made tasted like dog shit, and the fireworks I custom made ended up hurting Dirk and almost hurting Dave.” “Hally I don’t care about any of that. The dress was nice, yeah but I get outfits from Kanaya all the time. I am her sister in law after all. I had fun with the cats. That’s what matters. And sure the cupcake was terrible but the idea was sweet anyway and I had fun eating the dinner part with you. That’s what matters. And the fireworks were a very cute thought even if they did end up not working. Dirky will be fine anyway. That’s what matters. Hally what matters to me is that we’re together and that you love me. You do love me right?” “Of course I do Rox!” “Then I’m happy Hal.” 

You pause to take in her words for a moment before nodding. “Thank you, Roxy. Really. Thank you.” She smiles wider at you. “No problem babe. Now, what do you say we go inside, stip down to our underthings, and watch some crappy movies and eat crappy microwave popcorn all night?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you can’t help but chuckle and nod. “Let’s do it Rox. Let’s do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my boyfriend for his upcoming birthday and thought I'd post it here as well since he doesn't own an account here and therefore can't spoil his present for himself Xp


End file.
